Real Moms

I used to say "Real women don't breastfeed" and I still think that's true. I wasn't able to do so and I got a lot of flack for it. So when I finally came out of the post partum fog I was in, this became my mantra. I pretty much wanted to go back and tell all those flack-giving people to you know, get bent... but I refrained. So maybe it's not my mantra, but I do tell others who need reassurance that they are still killer moms.

The following is an excerpt from a friend's sister's blog (follow that?) which made me giggle:

"Mother’s Day is fast approaching, everyone, so you’d better start thinking about an appropriate gift. I was reminded of Mother’s Day when I was standing in line at Porters and saw someone gluing the letters that spell out “MOTHER” onto some painted blocks. I don’t know about you, but I’m not sure that blocks are the most appropriate gift for a mother, even if they do announce to the world what her role in life is. If we are going to be honest about the role of a mother, then perhaps a more fitting message on the blocks could be something like “Urine Cleaning Specialist.” I’d like to get that in vinyl cursive letters and put it on the wall over my bed, just in case I ever forget why I am around..."

The author went on with her "real mom tribute" and I was inspired to do the same. So here you go...10 Reasons I Love My Real Mom:

1. She's not ashamed she's not cooking anymore. She has said she will eat out all 3 meals if she feels like it - and eat shrimp at every one if she has the hankering for it.

2. You could tell her you're a stripper that has been moonlight training to become a tattoo artist and your 'sleeve tat' is nearly finished...you just wanted to add her name to it. She would still love you and hang out with you.

3. She not only has been tempted to call one of those 1-900 psychic reading places, she even admits to it.

4. She's not afraid to reveal she's a democrat when all the republican women are in full-force.

5. When you go clothes shopping and nothing fits, it's time to head to Hires for a Big H and a side of fries with fry sauce.

6. She may have taught me how to 'put up' salsa and hem a skirt but she also taught me other critical things like timing.

7. She thinks the phrase, "All Because Two People Fell In Love" is lame.

8. She liked the phrase, "Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History" when we were shopping today.

9. She allowed me to dress up dolls and stuffed animals with bath towels and all kinds of hideous things to create the Nativity in her living room...for like 4 years when I was growing up.

10. When she was a young woman she got tired of a 'big boned' girl saying she was a size 8...so she went into the changing rooms where they worked and tried on the big boned girl's pants when she wasn't around.