Become a Junior Ranger

I had heard about this elusive club...a Yellowstone National Park Junior Ranger. Open for children ages 5 to 12. And since we were visiting Jellystone last week, The Boy could pick up some free shwag (you know a free national passport book, badge, pencil or something). It would be one more way to remember his first visit to this glorious place. What I didn't realize is that defending your thesis is easier earning your Junior Ranger Wolf Patch.


After paying the fee, your youngster is supposed to sit down and complete at least 4 large pages of a booklet about their visit to the park. Um, don't I get a break from homework for a minute? Miss Arthur (The Boy's Kindergarten teacher) has got to be behind this somehow. So 4 pages later, you're so not finished. Then you-slash-they have to remember the park rules and pledge to uphold them as well as complete an application then attend a ranger program. Hold on...a ranger program? Seriously? I have to go to a scheduled one-hour program and keep my six year old focused on scat for that long? I'm beginning to think the "free" pencil isn't so posh anymore. Okay and also the fact that I didn't thoroughly go through the grueling checklist of requirements before paying the fee and realizing that I would have to do this. (Did you know that's why I've never gone back to school for my master's...it would require me to 'work in groups'...this is my all-time most dreaded activity.)


Anyway, after we were done with the paperwork portion of the requirements, I thought I would traipse into the nearest Junior Ranger station the evening before our departure and trade our comprehensive paperwork for the coveted patch. All the while, hoping Mr. Senior Ranger wouldn't see that I-slash-Jameson had not attended our required program. Yeah, well that didn't go too far. I even tried the emotional angle. While I had Mr. Senior Ranger's attention I said to The Boy, "Hun, I'm sorry, I just don't think you're going to be able to become a Junior Ranger this year." The Boy response was just what I had hoped for...a look of total disappointment and even some moisture in the eyes. I thought I possibly had this guy. But oh no. Unmoved, he coldly told me that the ranger program was an imperative part of becoming a Junior Ranger.


This is when a mother is faced with a choice. Does she steal the loaf of bread to feed her starving child or does she force her child to go without life-sustaining nourishment. Well, I did what any mama tiger would do.


It's difficult to see, but The Boy is holding his Yellowstone Junior Ranger Wolf Patch.