Letters to the Universe, continued

Dear Grown Men,

I adore Cookie Monster as much as the next mom, really I do. But Cookie's face belongs only on toddler and little children's shirts...not on your adult tee.

Many Thanks



Dear Swing Shift,

I'm not very fond of you. Let's be honest, you make the evenings difficult for homework and keeping a one year old entertained while his big brother is doing said homework. While you may make things impossible, I'm pretty sure I'm not going to like your cousin, 12-hour graveyard shift, much more.

Yours Truly




Dear Garden Fresh Tomatoes,

How I love thee. I'm absolutely giddy you found your way back to me. Your slightly acidic flavor adds more than you'll ever know to my BLTs and caprese salads. Don't ever stop being you.

Forever Yours




Dear State Fair,

I enjoyed my afternoon/evening with you immensely. Thanks for making it fun for the whole family. My son is eager to enter a Lego creation or fine art piece (or both) in your exhibit next year. He's certain he can earn a ribbon...especially after he saw some of the ribbons you awarded this year (his opinion, not mine).

See you soon




Dear Sweetie,

You look so handsome in your uniform. I can't believe how much weight you have lost - you've worked your hiney off. But now you need to stop. I'm quite certain we weigh about the same now. That's very difficult on a woman. I appreciate your sensitivity in this matter.

Your One & Only



Dear Pedicure Lady,

Pedis are pretty much my one true guilty pleasure these days. You make my feet soft and supple and my toenails sparkle - thank you. However, you really do not need to show me the dead skin you have removed from my heels, balls of my feet and other rough areas. Seriously you don't. And for what it's worth, you also do not need to make your feelings known in Vietnamese either. I may not speak the language but dead skin cells are a universal language. These feet work hard. They create calluses. They do not get to go home and be elevated in the evenings while their owner sips mineral water. And that's why I come to see you.

Loves