What I've learned so far...

After the fog began to clear a little from the postpartum days with Jameson, I realized that having a baby is a lot like dating someone. You have to get to know them. And babies are probably not on their best behavior either, which can be a positive thing because you find out more quickly who they really are (unlike guys).

You see, after I had Jameson I became ill with a serious infection. I was hospitalized for 3 days on IV antibiotics. After released, I felt like death warmed over... and that is putting it mildly. In fact, a younger Jameson inquired one day after seeing a picture of his mom holding him as a tiny infant, "Why do you look so exhausted?" When a 4-year old can see this, you know it's pretty apparent. My anemia combined with the infection could have been the starting point for the postpartum depression. I had it bad. I did not even talk about it for years after I recovered because I felt so unbelievably guilty for feeling the way I did. After all, I had yearned, begged, prayed, bargained and threatened the powers that be for my baby. And then I felt the way I did?

I know my husband was worried this time around. In fact, I often thought that maybe this was why I wasn't able to have a second baby because I shouldn't go through those post partum days again. Or worse, maybe I was being punished for having the thoughts that I did. Those were some dark days.

I am happy and most grateful to say that this time has been completely different. I believe it may have had something to do with a planned c-section and how hormones are released. We have been very blessed. Aside from the physical discomfort of recovering from surgery, emotionally I have felt great. Truly. Nate even remarked one day, "It's almost kind of boring" - in regards to not having to constantly worry about his wife. I still get frustrated and tired at times (and what is with that phantom crying?) but nothing like before.

I believe I have gained some small amount of knowledge, maybe even a slight amount of wisdom that I could impart to other mothers. One would be, each week gets better. Another would be, get to know your baby. This new little person in your home came with his/her own personality and likes and dislikes. Yeah, you have a bond with your newborn but you also had a crush on that guy in college and you still had to get to know him.

Here are some things I've learned about little Carter Max:

-While he enjoys snuggling, he definitely likes his time to lay out and stretch. Be on his own for several minutes a few times a day.

-Bottles are serious business. He likes to have at least one hand on his during feeding time.

-And speaking of hands, don't even try and swaddle them down by his side. It will not end well for anyone.

-He's the first baby I've known to actually prefer laying in one's arms instead of on your shoulder.

-A favorite pastime of his is to study you and whatever else is around. They say infants cannot see very well. If I were a betting person, I would bet he can make out objects quite a ways away.

-He prefers to dine at a leisurely pace. No more chugging for this kid. You should plan on at least an hour to feed him. Oh and if you could stop midway and check his diaper that would be perfect. Better yet, let him engage in the first item on this list if possible.

-He must be fairly attached to those little boogers around his nose because he gets M-A-D if you try and wipe one away. Seriously, do not touch them.

-The warmer he is the better. Blankies and fluffy jammies will help him sleep through the night.

-He is working on getting that thumb in his mouth but doesn't quite have it down...in fact, he gagged himself with it tonight.

So we'll see where this little courtship of ours goes...who knows, maybe it will get serious?