Letters to the Universe

Dear Phone,

I still hate you. If I wouldn't have spent so much money courting you, we would break up. I realize you are an inanimate object but I still think you should know how I feel.



Dear Sonic,

I adore your fresh limeades, especially during Happy Hour. Your crushed ice is some of the finest I've had. If you ever find yourself between the moon and New York City, please build one of your establishments in Bountiful. I will keep you in business.

p.s. The Boy loves your tots.



Dear Men's Wearhouse,

Thank you for making my husband look so handsome in his new suit. He looks so grown up and manly for his interviews. I have to be frank with you, your George Zimmerman CEO guy bugs me a little on your commercials, but I will overlook that because I have such a dapper looking hubby.



Dear People I Eat With At Restaurants,

It is your responsibility to remember what you ordered and to inform the server when they bring out our order that you in fact are the one that ordered the Quesadilla. I don't oversee this operation. Thank you kindly.



Dear Carter,

Your little cheeks are squishier and cuter than ever. Is it wrong that I want to eat them? La la.



Dear Grilled Cheese Sandwich,

Thank you for making Jameson so happy. I appreciate your protein power and your melty ways. I also appreciate that you trump Pop Tarts.

p.s. Pop Tarts, you are not that hot.



Dear Police HR People,

Please hire my husband. You would definitely be getting your money's worth. Promise.



Dear Novel By The Side Of My Bed,

Please don't be offended that I only spend minimal amounts of time with you. I long to be with you and getting to know your better. One day...


Love,
Me