RIP Neapolitan Coconut Sundaes

Some of you may say that the things I discuss could at times, be called random.  However to me, coconut is far from random.

Please read on.

The other day I received a rare gift...a better part of an afternoon to kill.  No, not kill as in maim or harm.  I wouldn't blog about that, sillies.  Kill as in time. As in no kids; just yours truly. So what did I do?  I did what any red-blooded, American girl would do.  I went shopping.  As in old school, kickin' it at the mall.  And it was some good stuff.  Retail therapy.  I didn't over do, in fact I was quite reasonable.  I found these on clearance!

28 bucks baby! I wanted these so bad last year but couldn't bring myself to spend $74 on warm weather canvas flats.  When I finally located some on clearance right before the first snowfall, they were out of size 10.  But I digress.

Back to the mall and my intent with this slightly inappropriately impassioned post...as I ambled by the Candy Barrel store - you know the one where all the hard to find candies are displayed in distillery barrels but are really only about 1/32nd of the way full?  Anyway, my endorphins were in full swing with my recent red shoe find and I thought I would treat myself to a half pound of these little darlings:

I walked the perimeter of the store...twice...and didn't see them.  Now one would stop right there and ask the 16-year old candy girl on duty.  But not me.  No. You see the 16-year old girl doesn't even know what these gratifying layers of substantial coconut are. Blasphemy. And I didn't want to hear some depressing and likely erroneous news that the Candy Barrel doesn't stock them anymore.  No, I would rather walk around the store coming up with scenarios in my head.

I finally caved and asked said 16-year old girl.  Surprisingly, she knew exactly what I was talking about.  Then, the words that no coconut connoisseur ever wants to hear:  "Oh, the company stopped making those."  Initially I felt deflated.  But only for a moment.  Because it was then that I recognized that I knew way more about these chewy charmers than this 16-year old Candy Barrel employee who just works there did.  Oh yes, I would get to the bottom of this.  I think some of you will recall my Dove Coconut Creme Egg Odyssey?

So I left and googled "Brach's Neapolitan Sundaes" and found all kinds of pictures that brought back sweet memories.  Like this one:

I totally had those yarn ribbons!  And those ponytails!  But I doubt my mom ever let me choose candy from here. She was all Shredded Wheat (not the mini kind with frosting no, the biscuit kind) and my mom would have never worn a yellow dress. Nope, treats at the store were my Dad's department...Troph.  And he probably would have picked some of those Jelly Nougats too. Bleh.

No matter, Troph would have let me get my Neapolitan Sundaes.  The ones they used to make with a caramel layer.

Back to my online searching... to my horror, multiple websites told me the same thing: Confectionery Adolescent Employee was in fact correct; this product was discontinued.  What?  I mean I get the Pick-A-Mix had seen its day but places like Candy Barrel and Vermont Country Store HAD my coconut connection to childhood. Right?  Wrong. Turns out Brach's Candy has been sold like 14 times since ye old pick-a-mix was seen at your local grocer.

Copious websites tried to pass these off as the "bar version" of Neapolitan Sundaes:

If disgusting artificial strawberry carcinogen red is your thing, well, there you go.